Saturday, April 15, 2006

An open letter to people who shop for consumer electronics for their kids at Easter.

I aplogize in advance for the excess profanity in the comments contained below. Bad day at the office you might say.

IT'S FUCKING EASTER YOU DOUCHEBAGS - GO TO SHOPPERS DRUG MART, BUY A FEW GODDAMN CHOCOLATE BUNNIES AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY GODDAMN FACE... *deep breath* CHRIST!


KIDS DON'T GET PLAYSTATION 2 GAMES FOR EASTER! THEY GET CHOCOLATE! AND IF THEY'RE GODDAMN LUCKY THEY GET A COMIC BOOK OR TWO! THEY DON'T GET NINTENDO DS SYSTEMS WITH A HALF DOZEN GAMES, XBOX360 SYSTEMS, OR 8 BILLION VARIETIES OF POKEMON GAME FOR THE GAME BOY COLOR! WHEN I SAY I'M SOLD OUT OF A PRODUCT, IT MEANS, NO, I DON'T FUCKING HAVE THE GAME. THERE IS NOT SOME "RAIDERS" STYLE STONE PEDASTEL COMPLETE WITH "BEAM OF LIGHT AND ANGELIC CHORUS"TM ANYWHERE IN MY IMMEDIATE VICINITY. NO, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN TRADE "BLUEGOOMAFOOBIE FOR CHAMPEECONCHEECHEE", NO I DO NOT PLAY GAMES INTENDED FOR 6 YEAR OLD GIRLS, THUS PRECLUDING ME BEING CAPABLE OF TELLING YOU IF IT'S A GOOD GAME OR NOT OUTSIDE OF IT BEING A GOOD SELLER. LASTLY, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, I'M PRETTY GODDAMN SURE THAT THERE ARE NO FUCKING "WAR" GAMES FOR THE PLAYSTATION THAT ARE RATED "E" OR SUITABLE FOR YOUR FUCKING 8 YEAR OLD. WAR IS NOT SOMETHING 8 YEAR OLDS ARE TYPICALLY EXPOSED TO.

Don't get me wrong, I typically love my job, and i'd love to sell this shit, but these sort of "last minute" meatheads who stroll into my shop maybe twice a year looking for some sort of preferential treatment can eat me. I'll serve you to the best of my ability, that does not entail making the blind to see, walking on water, or giving you a discount on Super Mario Kart because you think the national average selling price is too high.

AND IF YOU DO FEEL INCLINED TO GO THIS CRAZY ON YOUR YOUNGSTERS - EXPECT TO PAY FOR IT. PRICES DON'T GET SLASHED IN HALF BECAUSE IT'S EASTER YOU GODDAMN RETARDS. IF YOU WANT THIS SHIT! YER GONNA PAY FULL PRICE!

Following these simple guidelines will ensure that I don't have to stab you in the face, and little Johnny or Kimmy will have a mommy and or daddy at Easter.

Cheers!

Steve
PS: No employees nor customers were harmed in the making of this post.


10 comments:

Tony said...

HAHA!!! Glad im not there now dude. Although I will be in an hour! Oh No!!
Get everyone to leave before I get there please.

And in other news..... gameboy people suck miniature ass! Buy a real system!

Anonymous said...

Hear hear! Some parents are so horrifyingly ridiculous. The future scares me :x

-A-

Mitch said...

My bother's ex-wife bought my nephew a damn Game Cube for Easter. Little bastard.

SteveTP said...

outta hand Mitch!

Mitch said...

Who you tellin'? You're preaching to the choir, bud.

The little bastard.

bmwracer said...

LOL. Hope you got it all out of your system, STP.

Have a great Easter, bud. :D

Soap said...

It was funny because when I was at the store yesterday someone walked it muttering something like 'it's rediculous this place is open on easter' and I was thinking it's retards like you who are actually in the store right now that's the cause of it being open on the holiday. People are retarded.

I just didn't mention it to you Steve because you might have blown a gasket and drop kicked him, come to think of it, it would have been funny though :)

jgodsey said...

ditto.

why do people feel the need to overindulge? did we not get enough love from their own parents or is it guilt because they aren't spending any 'quality' time with their own offpring?

Neil said...

People = Retarted.

Plain and simple as that.

SteveTP said...

Couldn't have said it better myself - hell,that could have been the whole post - instead of all that shouting and cussing,

People = Retarded! Nuff Said.